[imeeji continuations]

[mind_blown]

[look this post is gonna be nsfw. that just how it be.]

Comments

[mind_blown]

[he's considering-- it's obvious that he's torn. there are some labels he's comfortable with, and others he has to be dragged into kicking and screaming.

he glances to the side for a moment, and then at her, a moment later.]

Okay.

[searingedgelord]

[blinks]

Really?

[mind_blown]

[he exhales.]

Yeah.

Look, I don’t like labels. I don’t want labels. ‘Far as I’m concerned? This would be like tying you to an anchor and then throwing it into the sea.

I didn’t give Griffin a label because he was more important. I gave him it because we just like fighting. And I bet he’d consider that pretty low in terms of important relationships too.

But if it’s important to you... okay.

[searingedgelord]

It’s not the label, I guess it’s just...

I don’t know what I’m doing.

[ like in this conversation or in general with these feelings]

I know I like you and I’m afraid of losing you. But I also know I’m not built for this type of thing. I’m not kind or good. I’m not nice. I’m angry and unforgiving. I don’t trust people. I don’t know how to be in this type of relationship. Putting a label on it might make it feel more real, but I don’t know if it’ll make me feel like I deserve it.

[mind_blown]

Why do you think I don't want to put a label on it?

[he considers this for a moment.]

None of that shit really matters to me. Putting a label to it just makes it one more thing that can slip through either of our fingers.

[searingedgelord]

What doesn’t matter to you?

[mind_blown]

All the negative things you said about yourself.

Pretty sure, some of that's not entirely true anyway.

[searingedgelord]

[she huffs]

It is. I know how I am. I’ve met Glacies, you know. She seems nice. I haven’t managed to be nice back.

[that seems like something he should know if he’s gonna say her having these trust and anger issues doesn’t matter]

[mind_blown]

[that was surprising, and he pauses, looking at her steadily]

... You don't have to like her, you know.

[searingedgelord]

[.........she pauses.]

I don’t?

[she was thinking she should for his sake. Hm]

[mind_blown]

Nah. I never expected that you guys would be best friends or something like that. Just that you should know about each other.

[searingedgelord]

I thought it would make things easier for you if I got along with her, but I don’t know how to deal with her. I just get irritated.

[mind_blown]

How long have you been sitting on that?

[searingedgelord]

[hmmmm]

Since the masquerade.

[mind_blown]

Ah...

[he can even guess what did it.]

Well, you don't have to try, if you don't want to.

[searingedgelord]

...Okay.

[she actually seems to feel better? She’s relaxed some]

[mind_blown]

If you're not nice, don't be so nice to me.

[see what he did there, silk]

[searingedgelord]

[frowns]

But I like you.

[apparently, no, it went over her head]

[mind_blown]

Just saying, my feelings aren't that precious.

[searingedgelord]

[leans in to kiss his mouth softly]

Maybe they are to me.

[mind_blown]

[a grin against her mouth]

Then, I don't get them hurt easily. How about that?

[searingedgelord]

Okay. I'll keep that in mind.

[And she's going to try to deepen the kiss now]

[mind_blown]

[he will return that kiss, but not for very long-- because he needs to know]

I'm not sure... did we talk about everything you wanted to talk about? Do you know what you want...?

[searingedgelord]

I want you. And I want this. I don't care what you call it, or if you don't want to call it anything at all. But I'm yours, if you want me.

[mind_blown]

[somehow, that reassures him too, and he relaxes a little bit.]

Okay. I really don't like the labels. or the stereotypical ones.

We can figure it out later.