[imeeji continuations]

[mind_blown]

[look this post is gonna be nsfw. that just how it be.]

Comments

[mind_blown]

[he didn't feel any shame at the time, and theoretically, he still doesn't, but suddenly he does? which is weird because that wasn't the agreement. Or at least he thought it wasn't.]

Once.

Hold on, I thought we had an agreement or else I-- [a pause as he tries to figure out the words here.

she's jealous?? he doesn't understand.] Uh.

I wouldn't have done that, I guess.

[searingedgelord]

We...acknowledged we had feelings. And that you liked Glacies, too. I told you about my involvement with Joker and Nine, but I...actually haven't been with either of them since...

[you know since they talked about feelings, pretty much]

But that was my choice, I didn't think to ask the same of you. I just didn't want to make things too complicated for myself. We didn't...officially set boundaries or anything.

[mind_blown]

[well, he just falls back to sitting on the bed, and pulls her into his lap.]

So, what boundaries?

[searingedgelord]

[oh

for some reason she wasn't expecting that. She flushes, surprised, but settles into his lap. She's kind of relieved? That he's not mad or offended or something]

I guess...we should figure that out.

[mind_blown]

[he didn't even bring her up to griffin. and now, he's regretting that, when it hadn't seemed all that necessary, because griffin didn't even come close to the same status.

but "guess we should figure that out."]

What do you want?

[searingedgelord]

I guess...I'd like to know where I stand.

[mind_blown]

Where you stand?

[his brow furrows]

Like, have things changed...?

[searingedgelord]

I don't know. Have they? You gave Griffin a label.

1/3

[mind_blown]

-- What? Seriously?

[mind_blown]

[shit]

/5 actually

[mind_blown]

You're worried because of that?

I like Griffin plenty, but how many times has he sent me back to Bad End completely destroyed? We were basically already rivals.

It's just codifying what we alre--

[mind_blown]

[oh]

[mind_blown]

...

So you want to make us... official?

[searingedgelord]

...I don't know. Maybe. If you're comfortable with it.

[but she's not sure he is, and she'd rather keep him than push him]

At least, I want to feel...important, I guess.

[mind_blown]

[he's considering-- it's obvious that he's torn. there are some labels he's comfortable with, and others he has to be dragged into kicking and screaming.

he glances to the side for a moment, and then at her, a moment later.]

Okay.

[searingedgelord]

[blinks]

Really?

[mind_blown]

[he exhales.]

Yeah.

Look, I don’t like labels. I don’t want labels. ‘Far as I’m concerned? This would be like tying you to an anchor and then throwing it into the sea.

I didn’t give Griffin a label because he was more important. I gave him it because we just like fighting. And I bet he’d consider that pretty low in terms of important relationships too.

But if it’s important to you... okay.

[searingedgelord]

It’s not the label, I guess it’s just...

I don’t know what I’m doing.

[ like in this conversation or in general with these feelings]

I know I like you and I’m afraid of losing you. But I also know I’m not built for this type of thing. I’m not kind or good. I’m not nice. I’m angry and unforgiving. I don’t trust people. I don’t know how to be in this type of relationship. Putting a label on it might make it feel more real, but I don’t know if it’ll make me feel like I deserve it.

[mind_blown]

Why do you think I don't want to put a label on it?

[he considers this for a moment.]

None of that shit really matters to me. Putting a label to it just makes it one more thing that can slip through either of our fingers.

[searingedgelord]

What doesn’t matter to you?

[mind_blown]

All the negative things you said about yourself.

Pretty sure, some of that's not entirely true anyway.

[searingedgelord]

[she huffs]

It is. I know how I am. I’ve met Glacies, you know. She seems nice. I haven’t managed to be nice back.

[that seems like something he should know if he’s gonna say her having these trust and anger issues doesn’t matter]

[mind_blown]

[that was surprising, and he pauses, looking at her steadily]

... You don't have to like her, you know.

[searingedgelord]

[.........she pauses.]

I don’t?

[she was thinking she should for his sake. Hm]

[mind_blown]

Nah. I never expected that you guys would be best friends or something like that. Just that you should know about each other.