jason "why am i like this" todd (
mind_blown) wrote2019-09-25 08:09 pm
(no subject)
Q... Question meme time.
WOW IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I DID ONE OF THESE. ok. Jay, who somehow hit 2100 comments, and North.
ask me things, let me ramble. grazie.
WOW IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I DID ONE OF THESE. ok. Jay, who somehow hit 2100 comments, and North.
ask me things, let me ramble. grazie.

no subject
no subject
LET'S START WITH JAY since actually, he should be pretty short and sweet! Jay is still trying to figure Joker out. Like, I joked that he wrote "FUCKING IDIOT" in his notebook, AND THE DEFINITELY DID, but also he doesn't want to make too many assumptions here. Because Betrayal pushed Jay's buttons in ways he didn't expect either, and up to that point, he was frustrated with Joker because it always felt like "Oh yeah, one more thing I should tell you" and Jay has been basically hungry for information since he got there.
So it felt like Joker was just holding out-- or extremely forgetful. And after Betrayal, Jay has decided that the second option is more likely. He also, as much as he hates to admit it... thinks they could maybe? Get along? That maybe he'll trust him one day? Or at least he started to think that, before he failed and got him killed. And then mercy killed him and his girlfriend-- Joker was actually his snapping point, in that game! Pressed buttons he didn't know he had! And that's the shadow hanging over every interaction they had, both in game and out.
He's... just not sure what to make of Joker, and feels very unsettled by it all, though he saw flashes of the type of person he could get really attached to. But also. What is talking about Betrayal? That happened, and now it is done. We must all move on.
North is just. Man she's in a weird place, in that she very, very, very much loves Joker and would do anything to protect him and his unit from always dying, but also feeling a little strange and on the outside. She can't quite place it. (it's because i need to give her memories. wheeze. she's so short on memories.) But she knows she has a much more significant reaction to things because she's new? but it's a extra miserable because she can't relate to all the horror they've been through.
She doesn't even know where to start. She's trying her hardest, but she worries that if push comes to shove, will she even really be able to say she's actually on the PTs? That she's supporting everyone? It's a nagging insecurity in the back of her head, even though she wants to be close to them and to Joker. Made even more significant by realizing she-- she has a very, very negative reaction to seeing him die in that way. It was honestly the most miserable time she has had in any game, being locked in a room with his corpse for hours, while his murderers comforted each other? And it's what's tipped the situation with HSS from "grin and bear it" to... um, no, actually this is bad. This is real bad.
This is mental anguish, and thanks, she hates it. So, uh, nagging insecurity, and increasing horror over having seen him die, means she's feeling a little awkward, and a little clingy. I need to play that out. I want to play that out.
How about a reverse?