In any case, I would not compare you to the other crazies. You are flawed, but you...try to work around them. Demanding your space when you know you cannot handle a conversation, for example.
[the smile slowly drops from his face, replaced with something a little colder. and he slowly shakes his head.]
You know... I never asked you. So maybe you don't know. Maybe I just assumed you did, but all you were doing was being a kid trying to react to an adult losing his shit.
That was all me. I didn't actually get possessed until after God killed me. And if I let myself remember that properly, I definitely would have killed her five times over by now.
It's...something that can be improved on. I know that I need to maintain better control. And I will work with Silver and North to become better at it. You're doing something similar, aren't you?
[ There's a heavy dose of concern for Jay, and an under current of sympathy. He knows it's not really close to the same problem they're facing, but he can relate to the fear that something about himself is "bad".
And along with those feelings is freshly resurfaced fear that maybe he is bad and there really isn't anything to do about it. There's a part of him that knows it isn't true, but it sure doesn't stop the feeling from rearing it's ugly head. ]
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I guess it was on me to realize something was off.
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... Would it change anything if you'd noticed before?
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[he can joke at the expense of his own misery. it's fine.]
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[ Was Jay expecting him to take this anything but seriously ]
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I'm with you 9 times out of 10. Probably even 99 out of 100.
But I've got Eris Alert. I know what normal minds look like.
Problem is, we've got so many crazies here, it's easy to forget.
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In any case, I would not compare you to the other crazies. You are flawed, but you...try to work around them. Demanding your space when you know you cannot handle a conversation, for example.
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C'mon, Talon. Buddy, you've already ran face first into my issues.
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Of course I haven't forgotten it, but we addressed that problem already. Does you recalling the source of it mean I should be upset about it again?
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You know... I never asked you. So maybe you don't know. Maybe I just assumed you did, but all you were doing was being a kid trying to react to an adult losing his shit.
[a pause]
When did you think I got possessed in the house?
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[ And definitely not pouting!! His expressions tightens up while he thinks back for a few moments ]
... When we met on the stairs. While I was trying to avoid a few different groups that had all shown up at once.
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That was all me. I didn't actually get possessed until after God killed me. And if I let myself remember that properly, I definitely would have killed her five times over by now.
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He takes a slow, steadying breath ]
... I did try to kill the woman who killed North. After the last bad game ended.
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I see.
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[ Trails off with a grumpy little puff of smoke ]
It's...something that can be improved on. I know that I need to maintain better control. And I will work with Silver and North to become better at it. You're doing something similar, aren't you?
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I think you skipped over my whole point, in your rush to reassure me.
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And along with those feelings is freshly resurfaced fear that maybe he is bad and there really isn't anything to do about it. There's a part of him that knows it isn't true, but it sure doesn't stop the feeling from rearing it's ugly head. ]
Restate your point for me.
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[he is not about to give his little brother a complex.
but also, yes, that wasn't his point. it's just the frustration showing. this was the reason he warned he was a shitty brother.
bullshit like this, where he ends up, without even trying, striking some sort of nerve.]
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