jason "why am i like this" todd (
mind_blown) wrote2019-01-24 08:55 am
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THE LOST DAYS... Round 1.
It's all darkness.
The feeling of nothingness, of being nothing. Of not existing. You have no thoughts, you will never have any thoughts again. While that fact is not comforting, because you cannot be comforted anymore, it is true.
There's a certain rest to being... nothing. And to both knowing and not knowing, that your time is done.
So it's all the more unfortunate when you feel, because you shouldn't feel. And the feeling is burning in your lungs, which you shouldn't have. Because you are- or were- nothing.
And then, you inhale a desperate gasp of air and open your eyes...
The feeling of nothingness, of being nothing. Of not existing. You have no thoughts, you will never have any thoughts again. While that fact is not comforting, because you cannot be comforted anymore, it is true.
There's a certain rest to being... nothing. And to both knowing and not knowing, that your time is done.
So it's all the more unfortunate when you feel, because you shouldn't feel. And the feeling is burning in your lungs, which you shouldn't have. Because you are- or were- nothing.
And then, you inhale a desperate gasp of air and open your eyes...
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Who do you think told him to let you in?
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Bad enough I gotta feel that, I don't wanna pass it on to any of you.
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Yeah, you could conceivably beat it down there, I guess. Take out the Joker and all of that for a little while, but I'm telling you I don't want you to go there.
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Jason, I know you just wanna protect me, but this is the only chance I got to protect you, from yourself.
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I didn't say I was going it alone!
[he cups his face.]
You dumb, over-eager bastard.
I just said that wasn't the way I wanted you to go.
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Go back to Arkham.
Probably most of it's not gonna surprise you. You don't gotta go into the basement.
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Have I told you lately that Gotham sucks? Because Gotham sucks.
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[he relaxes a little bit, since he seems to accept it.]
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And where's the part of you that I can talk sense into not condemning yourself to that shitty place?
[He's kidding. But only half kidding.]
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[he answers, probably a bit more seriously and unguarded than he would normally.
he's actually admitting he wants to not go back.]
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Whadya mean can't?
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[he pauses.]
I just-- can't let the kids that live in the same shitty neighborhood I did get sucked up into picking one side or another, just like I did.
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[Dammit. Unfortunately, 'saving children from growing up the way I did' is something Nero can painfully relate to. His face softens, and he reaches out to cup his face, even as he mutters,]
You stupid goddamn hero.
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[he reaches up to hold one of his hands]
Sorry.
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You are. You'd spend the rest of your life trying to make life better for-- who knows how many kids you'll never even meet. Even though it's not your job. Even though it's killed you and hurt you over and over...
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Hey.
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It's all true, you dipshit.
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And-- if I get a second chance... Well... I should use it this way.
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Nero's quiet for a while, before muttering,]
What about Talon? It's his second chance too... he hasn't even hit puberty and he's already died doing the same thing.
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