[imeeji continuations]

[mind_blown]

[look this post is gonna be nsfw. that just how it be.]

Comments

[mind_blown]

[he doesn't mind that, and he doesn't do anything to change positions, the closeness was something he could handle in this setting. he figured, Griffin deserved him not being that much of a piece of shit (even if the temptation was still there). But it's his words that surprise him, because he... sort of? understands the implications of them?

he figures the subtext is the most direct, especially after everything he knows of Griffin and his relationships. but he needs to clarify, and so he glances down at him.]

So, you're saying this is special?

[gigadevilbreaker]

[Griffin goes painfully red and he wheezes like a dying animal. Way to choose such romantic wording when this was nothing like romance. Not in the way he defined it, anyway. Romance is soft and kind and thoughtful. He had romance. He cherished it. This was... not it.]

Fuck, don't say it like that!?

[Even the sex, despite having some firsts for him, wasn't what he'd call special. They'd just gotten carried away, doing what they always do.

Still flustered, Griffin struggles to describe it.]

You're just-- it's different. I want to beat you. All the time. But I want you t'beat me, too. So you're strong. And... worth submitting to.

[When he says it out loud, it sounds crazy. It wasn't special but... it feels important. Griffin falls quiet.]

I don't know. I dunno what it is.

[mind_blown]

[he looks relieved when griffin protests. Now, he had that potential meaning eliminated, it just left the elaboration. Which he listens to thoughtfully, before noting,]

Good. I can be a rival, since that sounds like what you want. But this isn’t any kind of love.

[except maybe fighting, but realistically, this felt more like instinct. More raw. And he didn’t need to add another person to his list of “people to disappoint with his shortcomings” list. But that, he doesn’t say out loud.]

Kind of surprised you even want something like this in the first place— thought you were raised to be a prude?

[gigadevilbreaker]

I've still got demon blood. It feels... natural t'that half of me.

[Mumbles, red faced,] The prude is fucking dying, though.

[Rival. That felt right. Whether love factored in... He loved fighting. He loved fighting Jay. Did that mean he loved Jay? This was a singular, focused feeling - aimed at one man, that much was certain. Griffin didn't understand his own urges well enough to correct him.

He raises his head just enough to glare at him, serious but also, awkward and anxious. Trying to hide the fact that he longed to be something less disposable than a meaningless fling, and failing miserably.]

S-so... this just a benefits thing to you?

[mind_blown]

...

[he glances back at him, struggling for a moment with the implications there. It doesn’t occur to him that Griffin wanted special— but without the romance. A singular focus. Because Jay assumes most of the time, it’s just a fling. That’s how he and Silk started, though definitely not what they were now]

The prude can relax. I don’t like kissing and telling. Even if this is the only time this ever happens. I’ll still fight you whenever you want...

Not like anyone else pushes me.

[he shrugs.]

Just... like you said, I’m... really bad at controlling my impulses.

[gigadevilbreaker]

[Maybe pathetically, Griffin's eyes brighten when Jay tells him he's the only one to push him. It's the look of a kid who'd never been told he was good enough, finally being acknowledged by someone they respected. For a moment it looks like his heart's in his throat and he has to swallow, hard.

It's so transparent, but that was enough to make him feel special. And he relaxes against Jay immediately - with a small smile, despite trying to play it cool.]

Whatever. As long as it was-- good.

[it was good, right, tell him it was good]

[mind_blown]

[he doesn’t know what he expected— but it wasn’t that. He looks down at Griffin, and he seems to be working through what just happened. It hits him that maybe he just misunderstood. Or maybe he said something that changed Griffin’s mind. Both could have worked, since he knows Griffin tends to have a one track mind.]

For a prude... yeah. I had fun.

[he then glances back up.]

You’re probably not gonna turn into a degenerate like me. Just so you know.

[gigadevilbreaker]

Phft. Jerk.

[He's still smiling though, despite himself. Idly he traces the claw marks down the front of Jay's chest with a feeling of satisfaction.]

...We'll see if you can still say that on the rematch.

[mind_blown]

I'll be very surprised if you manage that.

Not impossible, but really not necessary.

[gigadevilbreaker]

[That kind of statement just stirs up his competitive streak again. Huff.]

As if. You're just a jerk, not a degenerate.

[mind_blown]

Both. I'm both.

[gigadevilbreaker]

How exactly are you degenerate and I'm not?

[mind_blown]

Because you said the prude in you was dying.

[he reaches down and lightly flicks some of griffin's hair.]

You've got the guilt over sleeping with me. You gotta make sure I know this isn't normal for you.

Meanwhile, I've definitely fucked people here and felt not a god damned thing about it.

[gigadevilbreaker]

[Grumbles,] That prude is there 'cause I was raised in a town of hypocrites who'd look down at the less fortunate just to make themselves feel righteous. I'm not exactly happy they managed t'plant their shitty outlook in me.

I'd rather be degenerate than be like them.

[mind_blown]

You know there's a middle ground, right?

Just pointing that out.

[gigadevilbreaker]

You're not that shitty. That's all.

[mind_blown]

[EYE ROLLS.]

You should figure out what the hell you wanna be, not just try to out do whatever the hell it is I'm doing.

1/2

[gigadevilbreaker]

[Firmly,] I know what I am. Doesn't mean I can't learn t'change from people important to me.

[Let that sit for a beat.]

[gigadevilbreaker]

[Then hE JOLTS UP:]

Shit I have to text Shrike--!

[mind_blown]

... ok well, I’m gonna order pizza. Any kind you want?

[gigadevilbreaker]

Salami and olives.

[He tries to get up but-- winces and stumbles. God, his ass aches like nothing he's ever felt before. He has to get a Feint to fish around in his pants for his phone.]

Ngh...

[mind_blown]

[he hears that and pushes himself up to fish in his ruined jacket for something, before tossing him his knife.]

Here.

Sorry about that.

[gigadevilbreaker]

[Griffin would've pointed out that he could make his own, but. All the same, the gesture's appreciated. He catches the knife out of the air and twirls it, before holding it up to appraise the blade.

Then, he eyes the scratches all over Jay's torso.]

Feels like that should be my line.

[mind_blown]

[what part of “your swords are off limits” does griffin not understand!! That didn’t change because sex was over!!]

Eh, I’ve had worse.

[honestly, his entire body is a mess of scars, prominently burn scars, but there are very definitely faded battle scars underneath the new wounds from griffin. And even some newer scars griffin might recognize! Because he gave them to him.

He has definitely fought a lot in his life— and hasn’t always gotten off easy.

But now he needs to find his phone.

To order pizza.

Because he’s hungry.]

[gigadevilbreaker]

[WHY DOESN'T IT CHANGE WHEN SEX IS OVER]

[He eyes the scars for a moment longer. The burns are a surprise, but the rest less so. Comparatively, Griffin has less from his own storied history, (apart from the missing arm,) and all his freshest are from Games.]

...Thanks.

[Then he jabs himself in the gut with the dagger in one swift motion, minimizing splatter. He pulls it out, and gets up to wipe the blood off on his already ruined shirt.]